:) *it's a fake smile*

I'm looking for a suitable word to describe these recent days,after i start my form 6 school life. Disaster is the word .I don't know what to say anymore,words couldn't fully describe my feelings,nothing could.Well,i forgot when is the last time i really laugh my heart out,now,i could hardly even smile,although i tried my very best to force myself to.Believe it or not,it's not because of those stupid idiot homework,not even those freaking scary syllabus too,yea..i never really take a heart of those things.What makes me felt so dispirited was actually  the surroundings,those hypocrite people around me,those who take advantages of me for granted,the feeling of not being understood ,the fear of unknown,everything and everything,i knew that i couldn't explain it well,i never did.I always believe that there's a better tomorrow,but now..i'm not so sure bout it anymore.If God really exists,i pray to you,please let me escape from this nausea world.